i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
