I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
