Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
soo... how was my night?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
