You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Congratulations! We have a period
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
