I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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