I accidentally had phone sex last night
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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