just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize