dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
