Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(641): View more from Iowa

Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people

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(626): View more from California

One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska

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(845): View more from New York

Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.

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(330): View more from Ohio

He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now

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(301): View more from Maryland

You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.

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