No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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