I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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