why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
