thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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