there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
