Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
