we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize