I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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