Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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