soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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