the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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