What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
