I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
