Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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