You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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