margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize