just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
