i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize