waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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