Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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