mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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