party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm both gender and math confused
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
