Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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