Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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