I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
