She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize