Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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