She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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