Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Last time i carry you out of a forest
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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