WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
