You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
