shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
