she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
