That's intense
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
