So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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