You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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