just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Sorry about my life...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
