i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
