That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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