i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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