You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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