I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Randomize
