I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
