just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
