Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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