i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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