Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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