Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
