I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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