oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
