Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
