I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
