Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Did we literally take a cab across the street
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
