wrigley field is MILF paradise
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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